Ads List

Retro-futurist ad in hot pink and neon blue featuring a jiggling green lime jello mold crackling with yellow electric bolts. Bold text reads “TASTE WHAT THEY FEEL!” and promotes “Lime Jello Flavored Electric Shocks” for $83/dab. Side effects include temporary blindness. Product claims to deliver sensory experiences like “ice/hot sulfur,” “D-battery buzz,” and “raspberry white flash.” Brought to you by Burnout.com.

Black-and-white advertisement showing a gloved hand gripping a curved, ribbed tool with no clear function. Text reads “THE FUTURE IS CRIP” and promotes the tool as “Anti-prosthetic. Anti-performance. Pro-future.” Tagline at the bottom: “Custom-fit for disobedience. CRIPTOOLS.CO.” Priced at $299.99.

Saturated green velvet backdrop displays eccentric metallic cyborg accessories, including a robotic tongue on tripod legs ("Tripod Giggler"), a golden star plug ("Hollow Star"), and a violet bulb-shaped device ("Chakra Plug"). Header reads “Not just functional. Foundational.” Prices range from $79 to $499. URL: CyborgPartsOutlet.com.

Minimalist ad featuring a beige double-page catalog spread of sleek metallic cyborg accessories, such as rings, plugs, and mysterious inserts. Products include “Mood Regulator+,” “VibeCore Insert,” and “Nullifier Ring,” each with absurd but poetic taglines like “Socially smooth. Silently dominant.” Prices range from $690 to $1,420.

3D-rendered ad featuring a plug-in device shaped like a bald human head (resembling Jeff Bezos) with a fart horn in its mouth. Bright glowing digestion tubes are embedded in the torso-shaped unit. Text: “Now with more Bezos!”—for bots who miss food and want to smell like eating again. Product name: ReFart™, $299.

Pale, synthetic-looking abdominal insert floats on a soft violet gradient. Headline reads “GhostGut™ for Girls Who Stopped Digesting,” with glowing subtext: “Now in Sweet Meat.” The product is presented as an emotional prosthetic—half trauma response, half lifestyle accessory—for cyborgs simulating biological functions.

Ad features a flesh-toned, tightly smiling prosthetic mask with visible interior wiring, floating above pastel gradients. Bold text reads “SmileMask™: Because you never know who’s watching.” Aesthetic blends early-2000s surveillance paranoia with influencer-era emotional performativity. URL: SmileMask.com.